1:11am

Looks like the night has barely started for us. It’s 1am and Mia just had night terror #2. It’s been a while since she’s had one of these. I still remember the first time she had one, man was it scary! I’ve learned how to deal with them since then but I swear it hasn’t gotten any easier. I know not to touch her, all the research I did says they have to ride it out on their own but it’s soooo hard for me. I hate seeing her this way, it makes me feel so helpless.

“Owieeeee.” I ask her where it hurts. No response, just kicking, screaming and crying. “Mommy I want you”

This time is different from the others. Usually she doesn’t want me to touch her but tonight she seems to be more calm when I do. I turn on the light, I pat her back and let her know that I’m here. She covered her face but she finally opened her eyes. Okay this is good. That means she’s waking up. I picked her up, she was fully awake by this point, I carried her downstairs hoping that some warm milk would put her soundly back to sleep.

Thank God my dad was getting home from work because I always end up breaking down. I’m exhausted & overwhelmed. I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I just want to shut my eyes and get some rest. Mia is asleep now. I’m laying in bed ready to give sleep another shot. I’m gonna close my eyes but before I do “God please let this be the last one. Let my baby sleep thru the night. Give me the strength to get thru this without crying.”

*Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhhhh-Shhhhh. *

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